For those who have yet to experience it, a long distance engagement is not something that should be taken lightly. Still, you should find relief from the fact that it is better to maintain an existing relationship than to start a new one.
If you are focused and deeply committed, you can cope with such long distance engagements. The only thing you need to do is to figure out how you can manage the extended separation from your spouse or partner. Here are the things you must do in order to manage long distance engagements.
Clarify your LDR Expectations
You can avoid getting into serious arguments with your spouse or partner if your expectations are properly clarified in advance. This means you have to go through the details of the separation and learn how the two of you will handle the long term separation.
Define your responsibilities and the things that must be done to sustain the long distance relationship. While the physical presence and contact are the keystones of relationships, you will still be surprised and amazed at how you can keep the flames of your long distance engagement burning once you get things in order.
Establish Your LDR Communication Arrangements
Establish your limits and determine your long distance relationship communication terms. There is a strong chance the need for constant communication for one of you will be greater than the other.
Thus, you will have to be flexible in this kind of situation. In short, you should learn the art of compromise. For instance, if your partner or spouse prefers to communicate on a daily basis while you don’t, you may opt to send them a one-liner email daily declaring your unwavering love for them.
Don’t Get Stuck with the Phone
Inject variety in your long distance engagements. You don’t have to rely solely on phone calls to meet the expectations of your partner or spouse. Take advantage of what modern technology can offer. Aside from the phone, you can use online chat and email to add more depth and excitement to your long distance engagements.
Share the Cost
Regardless of your communication arrangement, it is important you properly manage the cost involved in a long distance engagement. You have to apportion the cost fairly between the two of you.
Various complications may arise if either you or your partner assumes most of the cost. This may lead to resentment or misunderstanding later. Aside from this, you should also discuss arrangements for scheduled visits. If your circumstances allow it, try to agree on an alternating arrangement.
If you cannot openly discuss your personal issues and concerns with your partner regarding money matters, it may be quite difficult for you to get into a long term commitment with them.
You have to remember these challenges are meant to support your LDR. If there is inequitable sharing of expenses, this can be a potential flashpoint for future conflicts. It is best you agree on the sharing of such cost so those types of arguments and conflicts are prevented.
A long distance relationship can present serious challenges and complications to couples especially for those who are going through the experience for the first time. People who are into a serious commitment and separated for an extended period of time for various reasons should always remember there are other couples who find themselves in the same situation that they are in.
Couples who find themselves in their first long distance relationship need to focus their time and energy in making such relationships work despite the physical separation. Below are several items you need to focus on when faced with the prospect of your first long distance relationship.
Establish a Relevant and Result-Oriented Communication Protocol
Your communication setup becomes the capstone of a strong and resilient relationship that exists across the miles. There are certain limitations to be considered in your effort to maintain a healthy and constructive communication setup with your partner or spouse.
In order to make the engagements with your partner or spouse productive and exciting, you need to get things organized. This means you have to work out a fixed schedule, as phone calls every day may not be a viable option due to various reasons.
You can achieve the main objectives of your communication activities with your partner or spouse as long as you observe the proper communication protocol for your first long distance relationship. This means you need to prepare or set things up before your scheduled conversation with your partner or spouse.
Decide on the talking points during your conversation. It would be appropriate if you can jot down the things you would like to talk about with your partner or spouse. Decide which communication mode is most suitable for you and your partner or spouse. Your range of options includes the phone, online chat, email and snail mail.
Avoid Getting into Serious Tussles across the Miles
Arguments happen in every relationship, whether it is long distance or not. However, these long distance tussles can be irreversibly damaging to those who are in their first long distance relationship.
An effective way of preventing this from happening is by refusing outright to get into serious arguments. Couples have a lower chance of resolving issues when they talk about them over the phone or Internet. Thus, it would be best that you agree with your partner or spouse not to discuss serious issues or problems over the phone or Internet.
Spice Up your Relationship Across the Miles
Let your creative juices flow. Be inventive and adventurous with your long-distance engagements with your partner or spouse. You will be surprised at the “things” that you can achieve with the trappings of modern living.
When deciding on the activities you can do together across the miles, you must remember to address both the physical as well as emotional needs and preferences.
Don’t Let Jealousy Tear You Apart
Mistrust and jealousy are the major humps of a first long distance relationship. You can achieve a fair degree of dedicated connection if you think out of the box and explore your options.
For instance, you can leave the lines open while you are asleep to create a fair sense of connection during such intimate moments. You can fall asleep with the webcam open so that your partner or spouse can watch you.
There is no such thing as an easy long distance relationship, and a military long distance relationship is even tougher. Not only do you have to deal with not seeing your partner regularly, if your partner is away for military service you have the constant worry of your partner being in danger.
On a positive side, a military relationship means you have light at the end of the tunnel, eventually your partner is going to be coming home. Surviving a military long distance relationship requires a lot of hard work, particularly from the partner who is at home. You will have to stay upbeat even if you’re missing your partner.
Always tell your partner you are OK even if you’re feeling down. It is difficult but your partner has enough stress serving the country without having your distress on their mind. Of course if there is a critical problem talk about it, but if you’re just down do your best to keep it to yourself.
Join LDR support groups, there are many for those who have partners in the military. This is going to be your best place for meeting like minded people, who knows you might find some new friends and new hobbies to take your mind off missing your loved one.
Keep account of what you do daily. If you have children keep account of what they do too. Your partner is going to want to be kept up to speed when you talk.
Communication is key to any LDR relationship succeeding. Many military installations allow service men and women to call home for free, you should do so whenever you can. Alternative communication methods such as e-mail and instant messenger are also good, the webcam will enable you to see one another. Never ever forget a hand written letter once in a while, it adds a personal touch.
When in a military relationship, always remember that your partner is coming home and when they do come back to visit, make the most of your time together. Dedicate your time to each other and the family and do everything you can before your partner heads back out to serve. After all, if you’re not making the most of your time together you will probably have doubts if it’s all worth it.
Never forget why you made the decision to stay together in the first place. Your partner is a great person for serving your country and protection the lives of you, your family and everyone else. Your partner is worth the effort. The life that you always wanted together is in the horizon.
You might wonder if a long distance marriage actually works. Like any other type of relationship, it takes a lot of hard work in order to make it successful. Some will work, while others will not.
There are several factors you must think about before deciding whether a long distance relationship will work for you or not. The long distance marriage advice below will point out some things you should take into consideration.
One of the most important things in any sort of relationship is trust. If you cannot totally trust a person, why would you want to spend the rest of your life with them?
Trust does not come easy. This is something that is built up over time in any relationship. If you are unsure if the person you are with is going to be faithful to you in all aspects of the relationship, then the chances are at some point in time there will be a dispute and quite possibly a break up.
Personality clash can also cause a rift in any relationship. When looking for that perfect other half, make sure you choose someone who encourages you to have your own interests and hobbies.
There must also be compatibility in some things within the union in order for it to continue. It’s crucial to have something you can share an interest in, whether it be something as simple as a hobby or profession, or the same taste in music, movies, books, and so forth.
This will help in communicating with the other person. Communication is vital in any relationship and especially so in a long distance marriage relationship. It will help to build one and a lack of communication can cause a bond to shatter.
Trust, honesty, faithfulness, compassion, understanding, and communication are all of utmost importance in any relationship and especially in a long distance marriage.
You need to discuss and decide how long the marriage will be long distance. Will it be enough to only see your partner a couple of times a year? Can you both be satisfied with that? Can you afford to take time off from work to see each other in person more often?
Long distance marriages do and can work if you both can accept the fact that you are not actually living together and if there is a future time you know you will be together under the same roof, breathing the same air.
The demands of the times are slowly driving married couples apart from each other. The fixation to obtain all the trappings of modern living is literally driving a wedge on the relationship of married couples. Long-drawn separations may come as the price of career advancement and you may have no other choice but deal with this difficult phase of the relationship.
When married couples are separated from each other because of the circumstances that they are in, they get into a phase in their relationship which can be quite bumpy. When you fail to see the red flags in a long distance relationship, you may suddenly learn that your relationship is already in serious jeopardy. This is the main reason you need to perform an honest-to-goodness long distance marriage analysis on a regular basis.
You must always be on your toes and avert any brewing problem before it can wreak havoc on your marriage. This is where long distance marriage analysis comes in. Here are the critical issues that you need to answer when assessing the state of your long distance relationship with your spouse:
If you answer in the affirmative to any of these questions, you may need to start taking action to prevent further deterioration of your relationship with your spouse. This means your long distance marriage analysis is indicating that signs of potential problems are becoming apparent.
Establish a Common Goal
Married couple can cope with extended separation as long as they have common goals and objectives. You and your spouse must agree on the reasons why you choose this kind of setup in your marriage. Consider your long term plans and make sure that your commitments to the each other are clear.
Follow a Schedule for your Communication
It doesn’t really matter whether you will communicate daily, weekly or even for specific days of the week. What is important is that you stick to your schedule so that the trust and confidence in you by your spouse is sustained. Aside from this, it is also important that you prepare for your scheduled engagements with your spouse. Show your interest and let your spouse feel that you value the time that you spend with them.
Observe Regular Visits
Long distance marriage doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to stay separated for longer times than you should. Depending on the distance, you must decide on the frequency of your visits to your spouse and family. You have to remember your marriage is your paramount concern and it doesn’t make sense to allow your relationship with your spouse to suffer just for you to achieve your career goals.
Long distance relationships are never easy and international dating is not as simple as some of us would like to believe. Despite our efforts to make it work, there are simply a lot of variables that are not completely in our control. There is no question about it – modern societies have relentlessly pushed the boundaries of our interactions and are now moving towards multiculturalism.
Globalization has effectively seeped into the various aspects of modern living and this event has forced us to take a global perspective in most of the things we do. Relationships and interactions have gone international and modern technology has given us a lot of opportunities to explore such kind of relationships under conditions that were not possible before.
That being said, you have to remember that there are no fast rules when it comes to international relationships and international dating. Still, there are certain things that you need to observe if you want to make the most out of your engagements with someone living in the other side of the globe.
It is Not All About Love
Perish the notion that love alone can make a relationship. There are still a lot of variables that come into play as well as intangibles that must be considered to ensure that the relationship survives the test of time. Your relationship must be anchored in your commitment to make it work and grow. You need to nurture it and exert time and energy to show to your partner the true value of your relationship.
This mindset defines how you should approach international dating. The activities and engagements that you have are neither about you nor your partner. It is about your unique relationship and how such activities can make you and your partner better persons.
Keep an Open Mind
When you engage in international dating, it is important that you keep an open mind. You should think out of the box and consider options that would be appropriate for you and your partner. You have to be sensitive about cultural issues as well as the circumstances of your partner.
Your mindset should go beyond the background of your partner and consider unique perspectives and approaches which may not be within the range of your usual preferences.
Most of these things have to be learned and internalized and you may have to consider some major changes in your lifestyle. For instance, you should expect some changes in your diet. You may have to let go of your usual bread-and-cheese morning fare and integrate rice and fish into your diet.
Learn the Culture of Your Partner
You will have a hard time understanding and appreciating your partner if you don’t make the conscious effort to learn about their culture. One great way to start an international relationship is by sharing ideas and information about your own culture and rich history.
Marriage is incredibly tough to begin with and if you add the strain of being far apart it seems nearly impossible. Avoiding a long distance marriage is the number one tip when discussing long distance marriage tips.
It really isn’t an ideal situation for either spouse, but sometimes life tosses you a twist and you just have to go with it. A lot of emotions will start to arise when first entering into a long distance marriage; there may be doubt, anger, and even sometimes jealousy.
Thinking logically is the only way of getting past such poisonous emotions. This may be challenging at first, but staying the course really is the only option.
Communication is the key to surviving every marriage, but when it comes to long distance marriage tips this has to be number one. Communicate, communicate, communicate, and when you think that you have communicated enough communicate some more.
Open and constant communication should be a cornerstone in any long distance marriage. This will help calm the fears and anxieties of both spouses in the marriage. Whether it is through web cam or just through text messaging keeping the communication going cannot be stressed enough.
Communication is paramount! Communication also involves listening and sometimes spouses forget that. Listening to your spouse can sometimes get more accomplished than saying a thousand words. Some say that is why you have two ears and ONE mouth. You should listen twice as much as you speak. This is definitely true when it comes to long distance marriages.
All the communication in the world will not keep a long distance marriage from falling apart if both persons are not totally committed to making it work.
If one spouse if isn’t totally committed then it is just a matter of time before the long distance marriage falls apart. Being totally committed includes a lot of different commitments.
Being faithful physically is just one of these. This can prove to be extremely difficult especially if your spouse is gone for a long period of time. Temptation will be there; it is just a question of whether or not the marriage is strong enough to combat that temptation.
Prioritizing the marriage is another extremely important part of total commitment. Missing a scheduled phone call or web cam conversation because of a TV show or coffee date with friends shows that the marriage is not priority number one, and that is the wrong way to go about it. The marriage must be priority number one if it is going to last.
Long distance marriages fall short if there is not true love to back it up. If the husband and wife are not totally in love then distance will surely highlight the weak points almost immediately.
Taking the vow of marriage is nothing to be taken lightly. “Through good times and bad, through sickness and in health”…those words should mean a lot, and distance shouldn’t change that.
Dealing with a long distance relationship is most couples’ nightmare. The stress and strain distance can put on a relationship is something that few relationships can withstand.
Just because it may be extremely challenging and stressful doesn’t mean you should give up on the love of your life. If a couple truly loves each other then it shouldn’t matter where they are located physically on this Earth.
Yes, it may be a challenge dealing with a long distance relationship, but it is far from impossible. Follow these guidelines and tips and your relationship should come out on the other side intact.
The most important thing by far when dealing with a long distance relationship is to keep the communication lines honest, open, and ever present. When the lines of communication between a couple are completely open and honest, the rest should just fall into place.
Honesty is a good thing, but remember also that sometimes honesty can hurt. Both parties should make honesty their number one priority. If there is no honesty then there is no trust, and without trust a relationship will inevitably fall apart when placed under the strain of distance.
Another cornerstone to a long distance relationship is the ability of both parties to stay faithful. This is every person’s worst fear in a relationship; to be cheated on.
Guidelines should be set prior to separating if possible. Temptation is present everywhere no matter where you are and needs to be addressed. It cannot be ignored or both parties could be at risk for extreme heartache.
One other major point in dealing with long distance relationships is the issue of boredom in a relationship. Talking on the phone for long periods of time may not suffice as a relationship for both parties.
Things need to be kept fresh and new; whether that means sending a care package with your lover’s favorite things or just taking the time to write a romantic letter, the little things are what keep things interesting and new.
Who wants to be in a boring relationship that only consists of talking on the phone at night? So just remember when dealing with a long distance relationship it is critically important to keep things upbeat and fresh.
Dealing with a long distance relationship isn’t always the ideal situation, but sometimes that’s just how life works out. Keep the lines of communication open and honest, set rules, and most importantly keep it fun, new, and exciting. These three tips will help any couple survive the strain that long distance can put upon a relationship.
Dealing with separation in a military relationship is not as easy as it may seem, especially if it is the first time being apart. Separation in a military relationship can be dealt with using most of the same guidelines and tools you would use for a regular long distance relationship.
The most important thing above all else is that there must be open and honest communication between both parties. This should cover everything from how they are feeling emotionally to how they are coping with the sexual frustration that is ever present in long distance relationships.
This can help relieve fears in both lovers’ minds and bring the overall stress level of the relationship down. The distance will nurture many fears: fear of separation, fear of loneliness, and in military relationships the fear of a loved one not returning is ever present, so communication is key to keeping a healthy and “fearless” relationship.
After open and honest communication has been established, it’s time to start doing everything possible to brighten each other’s day. Brightening a significant other’s day from so far away is an easier task than you might think.
It can be as easy as writing a long letter or even sending a care package with favorite things. These small things are significant when dealing with separation in a military relationship.
The key is the element of surprise; everyone loves surprises especially when they are feeling lonely. Not to mention the morale boost it can give a soldier when hearing from home when not expecting to.
The little things that make each other smile and brighten a lonely day are moments that are not easily forgotten. Both persons in the relationship should strive to brighten each other’s day in some way every day. This will keep the relationship going through rough and rocky patches.
Surprises are amazing and can really help in rough times, but scheduled and constant communication can bring comfort as well. When the communication is scheduled, it helps both parties have something to look forward to. It also puts both parties at ease each knowing the other is safe and sound.
An obvious problem in scheduled communication when dealing with separation in a military relationship is that sometimes battles and missions aren’t exactly scheduled.
This can cause the military member to miss a scheduled communication and in turn cause their significant other extreme anxiety about their lover’s whereabouts and condition. This anxiety is heavily outweighed by the comfort that scheduled communication can bring on an everyday basis.
Dealing with separation in a military relationship is a unique challenge, but it can be done. Although it is unique, it can be dealt with by using the tried and true techniques of civilian long distance relationships.
Anyone who has ever been in a long distance relationship can tell you how incredibly hard it can be; especially if it is for a long period of time.
The success rate of long distance relationships is a tough thing to figure out since there are so many variables in the equation, but there is a general consensus that about seventy five percent of long distance relationships fail within the first couple of months.
Beyond a doubt, the first couple of months are always the hardest. However, there are a few things that can be done that will help you and your partner get through these tough times, and not end up on the relationship chopping block.
Don’t put your partner through such heartache. If you are thinking about straying, or just not feeling the love anymore, then it’s time to talk with your partner honestly and openly about it.
So let’s review: get into a routine as quickly as possible, establish boundaries, change the way you think about the distance, and of course keep it open and honest. Though the success rate of long distance relationships may seem like an insurmountable statistic, with these four tips you will be able to keep your long distance relationship afloat during long periods of time apart.